How To Overcome Shyness And Build Confidence Around Women

A major sticking point that men of all ages have with women is shyness. Growing up as a young man myself, I was always very shy around people. Now I know from my own experience that shyness can massively hold you back in all areas of your life, not just with talking to women. Men who are shy generally tend to feel alienated, unattractive, rejected and at times even depressed, angry and misunderstood.

I feel like shyness has been magnified all over the media throughout as almost a disease! In the context of getting the “attractive” girl, the stereotypical image is always the skinny socially awkward geek that stutters around the beautiful girl, who of course typically turns him down and humiliates him in front of everyone. I think I can speak for all men who are on the shy side that this fear of being humiliated is what keeps them staying shy. Unwilling to come out and show their true self to people. Perhaps even their close friends and at times even family members.

What I have learned so far on my journey to becoming my ideal self and breaking out of shyness is that it is actually a blessing. It is not something you should feel ashamed of as long as you are prepared to face your fear and start opening up around people. This is not something you can of course achieve overnight. Like anything that is worthwhile, it takes a certain amount of time and effort to see tangible results.

I call it making the “transformation” which is why I created my 6 week transformation program to help men overcome social anxiety and be able to attract women NATURALLY. Once you see that you are not going to be in danger, you will feel much more better about being more open around people. A better word is actually being more “vulnerable” but not in the sense that the majority of people think which is being a pushover. Becoming more “vulnerable” in the correct sense takes massive amounts of courage as most people are conditioned to be careful and suspicious of strangers. Being honest is about being congruent. Finding that beautiful balance of being yourself, kind and compassionate yet also having to sometimes say no to people which can be so frightening to a shy person. The fear of initiation and confrontation is what terrifies the shy man. I know because I used too be shy and afraid to have an opinion.

What you need to do is to surrender to all your fears, insecurities, shyness and just accept that you are not less of a person. In my honest opinion, shyness is a man who is holding back his views and opinions and waiting for the “right time” to express it to help others.

Do women like shy men?

I am going to be really blunt and say that attractive women really love shy men as I myself am a naturally shy introvert yet I have had massive success with those attractive women. I am a big believer that we need to show and see proof in our own lives in order to make big changes. That is why I have continued to show infield pick-up videos on my YouTube channel and members area to show guys the proof and inspire them to take massive action.

Can you attract a woman by being completely silent? I wouldn’t think so! You need to build up the courage to talk to them from a place of complete honesty and congruency, which means what you are thinking, saying and doing are all in line. This does take practice which again is why my “getting into state” videos on my YouTube channel can help you to make the transformation!

A famous line I used that people really resonated with was – “Hi excuse me, I’m a little bit nervous but I have to say, I think you are lovely – where you from?”

This is all about honesty and vulnerability, and yes it takes confidence to be honest.


I want to share a really important message with you and say please don’t suffer in silence if you are struggling with women and people in general.Tell a close friend about your condition or even a family member. You will feel massive relief, which then allows you to start working towards meeting and attracting women and building up your confidence. This journey of becoming your ideal self, dissolving the shy man who is not actually real, can only truly be achieved through being honest which pick-up itself does not really teach, although honesty and congruence will help you to pickup any woman you want.

your friend and coach,

Johnny Berba