Male Insecurity: Does Getting Laid Give You Internal Fulfilment?

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The first place men tend to direct their attention to when suffering from insecurity is beautiful women. This is what is projected in our society today the idea that a beautiful woman will make a man feel more secure. Let’s rewind back a decade ago when I was really struggling from deep insecurity and believed that getting a woman would make me feel whole. The truth is I later learned to my disappointment that this was not true. As a matter of  fact, this can have a reverse effect on making a man feel more insecure. So am I saying that this is a catch 22 and you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. The answer is yes, This is the truth maybe this is not everyone’s truth but as it stands it has been mine so far. I have mentored hundreds of men and found this truth to be the same for them. Some would disagree with me but that’s ok because my job is to tell the truth and to inspire other men to find the truth for themselves.

You only have to look in the dating/pickup industry where people are selling the whole getting laid to find fulfilment. This is very inspiring and something that got me chasing the dangling carrot several years ago but I very quickly learned that this was just the tip of the iceberg. I mean the real issues are the deeper aspects of a man’s psyche and the abuse he has undergone in his childhood that affects his overall self-worth. I find all the men that get into pick-up have social anxiety and struggle in their relationship with not only themselves but others too. The idea that a quick fix  seduction method and shagging a few women to hide from your inner demons is going to offer you internal fulfilment is suicide. This is why you see so much resentment towards women in the pick-up community because the men are projecting their insecurities onto women which of course is a losing battle and will never lead to self-love.

Like I have mentioned I have made a ton of mistakes myself and shagged more women they I could have ever imagined. This is what makes me a great teacher because I have walked down the wrong path which has enabled me to turn around and walk down the right one. I’m not going to pussyfoot around the truth because I genuinely want to help mankind to be better in every sense of the word. I mean genuinely help man to help himself to become more beautiful on the inside without having to cheat himself out of his integrity by having meaningless sex with tons of women at the false attempt of finding self-love. This idea that having more women will fulfil a man is a complete fucking joke and one that needs to be realised before both men and women get hurt. After, all I thought the whole idea was about love or am I seriously missing the point. 

The ignorant will laugh at me and the wise will understand but no offence taken this is life and learning from your mistakes it what makes it worthwhile. I believe from my own experience that men can find the correct balance with, being successful with women and fulfilling themselves without having to be dishonest something that is not at all advocated in the pickup industry. I can totally understand why because I myself used to struggle with being dishonest because I was afraid and I was asleep which is why despite having dated multiple women at once and having shagged women from all over the globe I felt empty on the inside. I felt like a lost boy crying for his mother and looking for a father figure to give me love and guidance. I was searching for (God) in all the wrong places not realising that he was with me the whole time. I’m not talking about the God in the sky I’m talking about the inner God the feeling that tells us the truth. The intuition that most of us feel every day but ignore because we are too afraid. We are afraid, to be honest as men about what we want and who we are. I tell you now I’m not afraid to speak my truth and to help others to find theirs which is what I do week in week out on my 6-week transformation programme.

I want to mention that this is not an easy path for any man to take which is why it will make a man out of those who do it. I’m really excited to share my honest truth with you because I know it will help you to find yours. Happiness is a process and that needs to be worked towards and maintained. We cannot find happiness in dishonesty because this place holds no love. The more you seek outside the less you will have inside. The contradiction is that most men will need to go outside in order to find the courage to go within. I’m saying that all the fears and insecurities you have around women is nothing to do with them but you. This may come to you as a disappointment but trust me if you have the courage to work on yourself it will be life changing and you will be glad you did. With the work, I’m now doing on my 6-week transformation programme the students are going to a higher level of consciousness. I will use easy going language just in case you misunderstand me, they are doing away with their social fears and building supreme confidence with themselves. This all comes at the cost of being dedicated and being willing to face up to your insecurities because only in doing so will you attract the right woman.

We are afraid, to be honest as men about what we want and who we are. I tell you now I’m not afraid to speak my truth and to help others to find theirs which is what I do. I want to mention that this is not an easy path for any man to take which is why it will make a man out of those who chose it. I’m really excited to share my honest truth with you because I know it will help you to find yours. Happiness is a process and that needs to be worked towards and maintained. We cannot find happiness in dishonesty because this place holds no love. The more you seek outside the less you will have inside. The contradiction is that most men will need to go outside in order to find the courage to go within. I’m saying that all the fears and insecurities you have around women is nothing to do with them but you. This may come to you as a disappointment but trust me if you have the courage to work on yourself it will be life changing and you will be glad you did. With the work, I’m now doing on my 6-week transformation programme the students are going to a higher level of consciousness. I will use easy going language just in case you misunderstand me, they are doing away with their social fears and building supreme confidence with themselves. This all comes at the cost of being dedicated and being willing to face up to your insecurities because only in doing so will you attract the right woman.

Women are always around and waiting for you to come along but if you don’t feel secure in yourself then you are wasting your time because you will never be able to trust a woman because you will not trust yourself. The way we access self-love is to live with integrity and to practice it in every area of our lives. So going out to meet women is great but having integrity is by far the most valuable thing a man can do. This applies not only for men but to women of course. The exciting thing is you get what you put in so the woman you will attract will usually be aligned with where you are at spiritually. So if you use dishonest pickup methods you will no doubt attract a woman who is dishonest in most cases. I found this to be the case with myself several years ago when my integrity was not at it’s best I was dating women with all kinds of emotional issues and this was a clear indication that I was no different. The exciting thing was soon as I began to change my ways the women I started to attract were adorable and full of integrity real beauties. I’m not saying that insecure men/women are any less I’m just saying that if we want to find love then we must come from a place of love otherwise don’t complain and stay as you are.

I always say to my students and remind myself that the most important relationship is with yourself. I think once again this is easy to say but your actions will determine whether you feel this about yourself on the inside. You cannot find self-love on the internet or read it in a book. You must face your fears and gradually move towards discovering who you truly are which is all about becoming your congruent self. Again I know this can sound slightly on the spiritual romantic side but it really is the most challenging thing a man or woman can do. I had to face absolute terror when I started to remove the many masks that I was wearing and sleeping with women and living a dishonest life was a projection of that. I want to give you my utmost support and reassurance that you will not be afraid forever it does get easier and this is when your heart is filled with love. The crazy thing is you know when your (Congruent) because the whole world looks different people seem more beautiful and women are drawn to you without having to say or do very little. The best way I could sum it up is by quoting the classic (Gandhi) “Be the change you want to see in the world”

I just want to leave you with some very powerful pointers to give you guidance:

Surround yourself with honest people

Work on your insecurities:

.Anger

.Jealousy

.Dishonesty

Fitness (Join the gym, or, at least, keep fit go for long walks)

Health (Start working on your diet)

Meditation (Practice keeping still in one place and breathing)

Social practice (Talking to women)

Learn from Great teachers who live what they teach.

Avoid or get rid of any violence in your life!

Be brave enough to face your fears step by step

Thanks for connecting with me mate, Good luck on your search for LOVE!

P.S Real men cry and if you have any doubts look up Mike Tyson to see the PROOF ;)

Your friend and coach

Johnny Berba

www.johnnyberba.com

Enjoy the process