Men who struggle to talk to women usually struggle in every aspect of social interaction. Everyone suffers from different degrees of social anxiety, even myself at times. Social anxiety can be caused by trauma triggered from previous bad experiences such as a bad childhood, being the subject of bully at school or a devastating breakup.
This condition is something that can not be taken lightly in my opinion as it can literally ruin a person’s life. These types of traumatic experiences can build a wall of insecurity in which a fear of social interaction can become a side effect as they are afraid to be judged by others and/or have their insecurities brought to attention. Social anxiety is very much a primal instinct.
Back in the days of the primal man, everyone used to belong to respective tribes. To be thrown out by your tribe would mean you no longer have a sense of acceptance or belonging and so eating and mating would no longer be an option until eventually you die out. Now of course we are far more civilized today yet that hard-wired primal instinct is still very much present.
Sufferers of social anxiety will usually fall under these symptoms which can be anything from feeling nervous around groups of people, sweating, fast heart beating and irrational thinking that people may be watching them and thinking negative towards them even though that is not usually the case. Severe sufferers of social anxiety may have trouble leaving the house as the social pressure is to much for them. Social anxiety can even cause relationships to break down as it is commonly known that anxiety, fear, depression, are all linked and of course this can cause bad mood swings such as losing your temper to being very withdrawn.
For example someone may be invited to a birthday party or any kind of social gathering and this could be at one weeks’ notice yet still this causes massive fear/anxiety prompting the sufferer to cancel an invitation that they would actually like to attend. So this could be frustrating for both parties and most people who suffer social anxiety are to ashamed to tell people at the risk of feeling weird or a social misfit.
As someone who suffered from the condition and has now personally coached lots of men who suffer the condition I strongly advise any sufferer to tell someone about their condition as a first step of action. I believe that honest confession is really powerful and one that should not be overlooked as this can literally changed a person’s life by just talking about things will give you a massive relief.
Now I’m not saying that is where the battle ends and believe me, as a suffer of the condition myself it takes lots of work. The next step would be exposure at a pace the individual can handle of course. You need to take practical action which is why I created my Johnny Berba Anxiety Program to give guys a step by step practical training format which is completed over 30 days! Social anxiety is not something to be ashamed of; rather a blessing if you are willing to talk about and it take action and use it to drive you towards where you want to be in your life, whether it is meeting and attracting women, doing public speaking or just being more comfortable socially; you can change your life if your willing to put the work in.
Your friend and coach,
Johnny Berba