How to overcome social anxiety disorder




                                     How To Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder
I wanted to write this article to help people who are suffering from severe social anxiety disorder. Before I proceed in giving you the full truth in how you can overcome social anxiety I will warn you this must be applied otherwise the information will not help you at all.
The first step is in having the courage to admit that you do have social anxiety and be brave enough to locate how you developed this fear. So let me tell you how my social anxiety was first developed:
My social anxiety came from being abused by my Dad growing up who violently attacked me. After years of being abused by my Dad both psychically and verbally I became terrified of people. I never trusted people because I didn’t trust my own Dad. This became heavily stored on my unconscious mind which projected onto every social situation I went into. I actually hated my Dad for what he did to me because it left me feeling abandoned by not only him but everyone. This became my entire identity which made me afraid to live in the world. I was traumatized to the point of not being able to make eye contact with people. The most confusing part for me was that I was actually confident with people and loved them before the abuse took place from my Dad. This ended up creating massive confusion with how I went about interacting with people.
This became what I call a love/hate relationship with myself and other people because of my fear of being abandoned for being my true self. Now for many people who have social anxiety it may have been caused by a different situation from mine but nonetheless the same principles still apply to how you can overcome this. This is what I teach on my 6-week social anxiety program which is both PRACTICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL.
So the route cause of my fear was being judged and abandoned by my Dad for being confident. My Dad had also suffered social anxiety which was something I realized many years later once I overcome mine. My Dad became very jealous when I was being my true self with my mom which is why he reacted in such a violent way towards me. I started to unconsciously sense that my Dad was massive insecure to the point he didn’t trust himself which made me lose even more trust towards him. Like I have mentioned before I had massive, love for my Dad because he did do some amazing things for me. My Dad also had a very beautiful side to him that would occasionally come out when he was in a good mood. However, despite my Dad being nice to me on many occasions I still felt afraid of him and my social anxiety was really severe around people.
It made sense to me in how this pattern of neurotic fear played out in not only all my social interactions but with the relationship with myself. I never trusted myself for years which again is a by-product of having social anxiety disorder. This lack of self-trust had projected onto the whole world and guess what the world projected it right back at me. As magical as this may sound this was the truth and everything in my life was connected to my social anxiety disorder.
So once you have admitted to your social anxiety and located where it come from life becomes exciting: You now go towards facing it head on and overcoming it with the following steps which is everything I personally used to heal myself and overcome my social anxiety.
Now I want to mention that you don’t have to do this in any particular order as long as you do it. I’m going to break this down for you in the most simplistic way possible so you can go and apply it for yourself.
Practical: Social practice (Talking to people):
This is very uncomfortable but believe me, if you stick with it you will be so grateful that you went through all the suffering and pain to get to the promised land so to speak. You have to put yourself right in the face of the fear which is people and talk to them from a place of honesty. Notice how I emphasized the word “HONESTY”
This is because people with social anxiety will often hide behind a false persona in order to protect themselves from being judged by people. This then becomes a defensive mechanism which ends up attracting relationships that are not based on honesty but fear. I went through all of this myself which is how I know it to be true. I have also as you probably know mentored hundreds of men with social, anxiety disorder so I see the patterns in students. This is all a projection from you which is attracting such dysfunctional relationships which is why you have to get yourself socially congruent to break what I call the relationship curse. I’m going to talk in more detail about this in my upcoming youtube videos which you are welcome to watch.
So back to talking with people which is a very uncomfortable practice especially, to begin with. However, it does get easier the more you practice putting yourself in social situations and opening up to people. This will not only grow your social confidence but rebuild your self-trust which will of course project onto other people. This will change your entire relationship with the world which is just AMAZING!
This is how you move from a place of hate to a place of love: By the way a quick TIP! I want to share with you that I learned after 10 years of talking to beautiful women. When you live from a place of honesty you “ATTRACT” the most “BEAUTIFUL” women because they sense you are vibrating in a frequency of love.
I learned this truth through overcoming my social anxiety disorder which also came from living a very dishonest life for many years because I was afraid. I wanted to share my truth with you so you can go out for yourself and make it work for you. This is why our fears can literally become a beautiful gift if we have the courage to face them. I’m going to get a little spiritual with you now and say this is a gift from God in disguise. Now I understand how painful it is when someone you love hurts you and completely makes you feel unlovable which is why I encourage you to overcome your social anxiety it’s so damn worth it.
2) Handling rejection: Never give up!
I know from personal experience how painful it can be when you are talking to people when you have social anxiety. It can make you fee like a failure if you make a social mistake or for example someone does not react to you in a way that you want them too. This can bring up feelings of anger and sometimes even deep shame. I experienced all these things so I totally understand how you feel. I really love the saying that Les Brown said which is failure equals success which is completely true in my experience with overcoming social anxiety. You have to embrace rejection otherwise you will not grow your self-esteem. I know it can sound like a contradiction because the whole point of becoming socially confident is to not feel rejected. I wish this was the truth but in my experience, you cannot avoid emotional suffering if you want to grow and become your true self.
I would even go one further and say that emotional suffering you will experience when overcoming social anxiety disorder is a teacher in itself.
The emotional suffering will not last forever as nothing does in life to some extent. This should inspire you to make amazing changes because you owe this to yourself. This whole journey is about discovering who you truly are and loving yourself. I don’t care how many people mock the word self-love it’s what every single human being is after and available whenever you are ready to access it within yourself. How cool is that huh? that you have an infinite amount of love to give and receive if you have the courage to take responsibility for it with facing your fear. Social anxiety is a perception that people don’t love you and likewise which does not have to be true. Social anxiety is no different to any other fear in that it can be put to death. fear is an illusion as Les Brown says False: Evidence: Appearing: Real
So be very brave and dispel this FALSE ILLUSION that is keeping you away from connecting to your kingdom.
3) The really difficult inner work:
This is something most people with social anxiety will avoid like the plague and use every distraction known to man. I want to mention before mastering this I really struggled with this too. As a matter of fact even today I’m still tempted but I have developed self-discipline to not engage in these vices.
The inner work is your (Addictions) this is always an attempt to find love/connection as a coping mechanism or deafens mechanism both the same really.
paid sex
Negative relationships
Comfort eating
Anger Bullying
Cheating in relationships (Women)
Now I’m not suggesting that you are doing everything on the list this from my experience as someone who once struggled with these things and coached many students with the same addictions tends to be the common addictions. I can honestly tell you that when you engage in any of these addictions as a way to escape your fear of talking to people it will only get worse. You most likely already know this anyhow but I will remind you because I want to give you the truth. These addictions will make you feel good for a short while but soon enough they will bring on feelings of depression and anxiety. The key is to practice replacing these addictions with positive hobbies one of which is socializing with people. Everything I’m saying is obvious and I know you already know but for so many people with social anxiety, it’s still a massive struggle I do understand.
4) Be kind to yourself even when you mess up!
I want to tell you to not beat yourself up if you relapse and go into one of your addictions. I know most teachers will never advise this but for me, this is not the truth. What I’m saying is everyone including me makes mistakes along this journey because it is a very difficult path which is why so many people will avoid it. Overcoming social anxiety is not just about becoming confident with people it’s about changing your entire reality which is what happens when you remove this fear. So when you get off track dust yourself off and start again and so your very best to not make the same mistakes again. This is what I did with things like sexual pornography and cheating on women which was a serious addiction of mine that I once struggled with. Once I finally built the strength to quit these addictions by self-esteem went to another level. I have also seen the profound changes with some students that I have recently been coaching who had similar additions.
Let me remind you that these addictions are stealing your self-love and bring on more fear into your life. In the bible, these would be referred to as demons which get inside people and possess them which when you think about it this is true in regards to negative thoughts. How many times have you felt really good about yourself then all of a sudden you felt a massive amount of anger because you engaged in negative thoughts. This is another (secret to overcome social anxiety) the SPIRITUAL PRACTICE of not engaging in NEGATIVE thoughts.
5) Get support from a mentor or good friend:
Now this for me has been crucial in overcoming my social anxiety and of course in helping other people to overcome theirs. The saying that no man is an island is absolutely true in that you need support to overcome your fears and reach your full potential in your life.
I seriously learned this and I’m still learning it from teaching hundreds of men how to overcome their anxiety around talking to beautiful women. As you know I also have a mentor myself which is why I have grown so much in the last 3 years. If you don’t invest your money/time/energy/ don’t expect to reach your goals because it will sim be too overwhelming. The most POWERFUL people in the world all invest in mentors to push them to become their greatest version. I’m also reminding you how important it is that you stay around positive people that have your best interests at heart which can be difficult when you are building a new reality. Don’t make excuse find a way and the universe will guide and support you towards your dreams.
6) Lastly: Dedication and patience:
These are two of the most important things I learned with overcoming social anxiety and reaching my full potential. You have to be dedicated even when things don’t appear to be going your way. You also need to be equally as patient, because as the saying goes Rome was not built in a day. I love that saying always feel really smart when I say it. (Hehe)
7) Have fun life is too short:
I want to end off by saying a positive note and remind you to smile and have fun talking to people which is a wonderful thing a gift from god. You can watch some my youtube videos and see me having fun talking to beautiful women/people because that’s what this whole thing should be about.
I hope this helps you as much as it did me :)
Johnny Berba